Flaming Chords

Apparently, Larry Craig is looking for a few good men. And the folks at Wonkette and Crooks and Liars are looking for a few hundred good one-liners. There are lots of good cracks in the comments on both sites.

If I were a bit younger, a bit prettier, a bit gayer, a bit more ruthless, and a lot closer to the job site, I'd consider applying. Think of the potential for finding, or stirring up, some good dirt!

Sorry, Mr. Craig. (Chortles.) You will never live down that incident in a bathroom. The best you can hope for is becoming a footnote in American History... but at least you'll be a funny one.

The moral of the story: if you can't keep it in your pants, or if you have any homosexual tendencies, you should strongly consider not going into Politics as a right-winger. (American politics, at least. The Dutch right wing, for instance, doesn't seem to object to gay political figures so much.) All politicians are vulnerable to sex scandals, but those on the Left have a better chance of holding on to their careers after one, considering that "family values" is currently a right-wing plank. The public can sometimes forgive a moment of weakness, but hypocrisy will get your ass nailed to the wall -- and not in the fun way!