Flaming Chords

This is my front page. All comments here are screened; if you don't have my email address, you can drop me a line here. If I know your email address, I'll reply by email -- if not, I'll reply to your comment, and then rescreen both your comment and my reply.

It's also got every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my Treo. I chose this style because it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my journal -- are for.

Well, I'm in a better mood lately.

A word of advice: if you ever take up an exercise routine, make sure that you can always set aside time for it, because you will become addicted, and even going without for three days will make you really cranky. Further, unless your boss is also a gymrat, he'll have no idea why you're so cranky, even after you explain it to him.

No, I'm not fanatic about it. I'm just strung out. We're seeing all the new college students at work, and we've been busy. My paycheck will be happy. My hormones, on the other hand, are suffering. But no, I'm not a fanatic. Much.

Now, if I ever get this fanatic (NSFW, plus obnoxious music!) about it, it'll be intervention time.

This is the sort of post I write on abortion when I'm not extremely pissed off. This is the sort of post I write on abortion when I am.

I try to assume some measure of good will on the part of the people who disagree with me. As far as my friends are concerned, I manage it. As far as the people in power are concerned, I'm finding it harder and harder -- not only are their desired policies at odds with their stated motives, but they've been fighting dirtier and dirtier, by working to give individual doctors, pharmacists, and ambulance drivers veto power over whether a woman gets an abortion, or even contraception; and by encouraging pro-lifers to get jobs and training in these fields for the express purpose of being in a position to use that veto power.

Meanwhile, the people in power on the pro-choice side continue to make compromises that we shouldn't make.

So, yes. I'm angry. And yesterday was one of my off-days at the gym, so I didn't have my usual outlet. Today is an on-day, so I'll probably deal with the anger by using more plates than usual.

That said, I don't have it in me to remove or edit that post. Part of me is tempted to clarify a few points, massage a few strained phrases, and tone down a few harsh statements, but I can't do it. The people in power who fight abortion deserve every bitter word I've used, and more.

For those of you here who oppose abortion? I still disagree with you, but I know your reasons, and I will continue to assume good will.

...and I'm not enjoying life too much.

Granted, my concentration is back and the headaches are gone, for the most part. Still, I'm irritable, and I'm coping a little poorly with those little daily part-of-life annoyances that I can usually just laugh about. Further, old grudges that I was pretty sure I'd buried are starting to make noises in their coffins.

I swear, quitting meth was less painful than quitting the Dew!

Still, it's been six days. I'm pretty sure I'm through the worst of it, so giving up now would be even stupider than giving up on, for example, Day Two. Also, having quit before, I know how much better I'll feel once the pain is over, so I have that to look forward to, at least.

The thing is, I have a handful of excuses that I've used to start hitting it again. Short on sleep due to persistent nightmares? Take a drink. At a convention, and don't want to miss anything, even when I should be sleeping? Take a drink. A girlfriend who makes fabulous spiced coffee? Take a drink.

I see [Sayeda] fairly rarely, so I may still make exceptions for her. But beyond that, the excuses have to go.

Dear asshole number one:

Yes, I know. You're homeless. That may get you sympathy, but it doesn't exempt you from certain rules, like, say, "don't try to grab strange women's asses." That woman was making it very clear, from how she was trying to ignore you, that she didn't want you touching her. Do you have any fucking clue just how creepy you were being?

Yes, I do have a loud voice when I care to use it. It worked, didn't it? You gave me your complete attention, the woman walked away without having to deal with you any further, and I got to embarrass you in front of an audience. Everybody who matters wins.

Yes, she's gone, and I'm still chewing you out. Deal.

Yes, I'm an asshole. "Fuck you," and all that. Here I am, discussing your manners, the failures of your parents to instill basic decency, and your general state of being equal to a garden slug, all in some occasionally colorful language, and the best you can do is calling me "asshole" and saying "fuck you" under your breath? Have some balls, man! You're such a big man when it comes to women, surely you can insult me to my face!

Yes, I'm being harsh on you. In all fairness, though, you were being a grabby creepy jerk, and after some of the shit I've written here, I had no choice but to call you on it. I verbally attacked you because men need to call each other on this kind of bullshit more often. I'm enjoying it because I'm being an asshole. Call it anger issues.

Sincerely,
flamingchords

PS: Yes, I know you're black, and I'm white. That does not mean I'm a racist. I singled you out because you were being a creepy grabby jerk, and because I felt like being a loud abusive jerk and you'd made yourself an acceptable target. Your skin color had nothing to do with it, and you lose for even suggesting it. Jackass.

---

Dear asshole number two:

Hi, [Igor]. Guess what?



And do you know what I'm going to do with it? There are three other shops in which I've seen you, and I'm on first-name terms with the staff in all of them. I'm giving them your picture, and explaining to them the terms under which you were thrown out of my store.

Yeah, I'm being an asshole. Call it anger issues. In all fairness, though, you'd been stealing from us for quite some time before we finally caught you.

Sincerely,
flamingchords