Flaming Chords

This is my front page. All comments here are screened; if you don't have my email address, you can drop me a line here. If I know your email address, I'll reply by email -- if not, I'll reply to your comment, and then rescreen both your comment and my reply.

It's also got every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my Treo. I chose this style because it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)

I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my journal -- are for.

...and with it, my first bout of holiday gloom.

Firstly, I would like to claim that I don't "believe" in Seasonal Affective Disorder. That said, I don't "believe" in ghosts, either, but while my beliefs don't include ghosts, my experience does, so my beliefs can take a running jump off a pier in this instance. So it is with the month-long mood swing I've just started.

It doesn't help that I've been reading a lot of anger-creating news. What the fuck, Catholic Church?

So! I'm going to post some happy-making stuff.

Stolen from naamah_darling: this is kitten with jazz hands. This is you, dead from cute.

Stolen from spotts1701: Bohemian Rhapsody, as performed by most of the cast of The Muppets.

Stolen from crackpig: The scene on the outskirts of Mos Eisley Spaceport, redubbed. The voice is Peter Serafinowicz, who does a variety of voices frighteningly well, and is a very funny dude.

Not stolen at all: A slightly NSFW dance to the song "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" by TSO, longtime purveyor of Christmas music that (unlike nearly all other Christmas music) doesn't blow goats. I don't remember for sure, but I think I found this in the related videos for that post I did a while back with Ms. Felix Cane (slightly NSFW) and Mr. Eike von Stuckenbrok (slightly more NSFW).

I was really blue earlier today, so I fell back into my Dew Habit, and the good news is I'm no longer depressed, but the bad news is that my coworkers may strangle me, and I'm THIS FUCKING CLOSE to putting techno music on the satellite radio and starting to play with the light switches, and oh my god I'm fuckin' wired, and holy crap, did I just develop a severe aversion to using a damn full stop occasionally?

For about a week, I've been inexplicably in a very bad mood -- I'd say I was depressed, except that I have a friend learning about depression lately, and my current funk doesn't qualify.

I have no way of dealing with the cause, since I have no idea what's making me feel like this -- as far as I can tell, nothing is making me feel like this. I'm remembering plenty of old grudges I thought I'd buried... but that's not the cause of my current mood, that's a result. The simple truth is that there is no reason I should be feeling like total shit.

I hate this. Sure, I'm not always offensively cheerful, but I'm generally stable and agreeable, moodwise. Even when I'm angry, I can usually enjoy my anger. I'm not supposed to be Eeyore. To be Eeyore is bad enough, but to be Eeyore, when I'm usually Tigger -- when I'm used to thinking of myself as Tigger -- hurts.

Since I can't fix the cause, I've been working on the symptoms. Aside from visiting close friends, I've recently purchased the first three Girl Genius books, which are wonderful. I can't wait for the fourth to come out, early next year. Well, actually, yes I can. But only because I have to, and because Foglio publishes a page at a time online. I've also been listening to classical a lot more lately; some of the really depressing stuff is oddly uplifting. (Rachmaninov and Gorecki are terrific for this. As much as I dearly love Shostakovich, I don't think I can handle him right now.)

(Comments are screened. If you feel compelled to give me a kick in the ass, trust your own instincts.)