This is my front page. All comments here are screened; if you don't have my email address, you can drop me a line here. If I know your email address, I'll reply by email -- if not, I'll reply to your comment, and then rescreen both your comment and my reply.
It's also got every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my Treo. I chose this style because it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)
I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my journal -- are for.
For those of you unfamiliar, Magic: the Gathering is a collectible trading card game. It's designed to give you some hope of winning if you bother to develop any skill in it, but really, most of the people who win with any consistency in it are the people who spend thousands of dollars on cards. Still, it can be amusing.
(Nope. No snarky comments. The man just sent a disapproving letter to the mother of a company's CEO. That's comedy gold, all by itself. How the fuck am I supposed to top that?)
Last night, I exchanged gifts with a bunch of friends.
Some of the things that got exchanged included a zombie board game, a GL sketch by Martin Nodell, D&D miniatures (yes, my friends are gamers), games, books, games, clothing, legos for the kids, more games...
...and two bottles of really nice alcohol. Oh, and a third bottle of alcohol was opened: a bottle of pear brandy, with a whole pear inside. This bottle was finished, and then broken open, and the pear was cut up. I had several pieces of it, and had one floating in a shot glass of Mountain Dew for most of the night. (The combination was surprisingly good.) I also opened my new bottle of Ouzo, and another friend opened his new bottle of cognac. (Both of these were wonderful, but obviously very different. Cognac is smooth and seductive. Ouzo throws you down on the floor and starts tearing at your clothing.)
I'm a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, so I was quite hammered when I got home. Then, after some online chat I only half-remember, I went to bed.
I am curiously free of hangover... but man, my dreams were weird.
Robo-Rally, for those of you who don't know, is a board game in which you guide robots from checkpoint to checkpoint, navigating across conveyor belts, smashing pistons, and other hazards... and for some reason, every time I've played it, the song Powerhouse pops into my head, and before long, everyone in the room is humming it.
A year or two ago, a few friends of mine ran a game of Robo-Rally at a convention. I was unable to go because I was attending a different convention on the same weekend, but I made my presence felt anyway... by burning them a CD that repeated twelve bars of Powerhouse over and over for a little over an hour.
This coming year, I've been asked to work my magic again. These same friends are going to be running a D&D game that involves a very long raft ride through the Underworld. The song I'll be throwing together for them involves an annoyingly chipper G major riff, played over and over on an organ, with children singing:
You are all gonna die, you are all gonna die, in such horrible agonyyyyyyy! You are all gonna die, you are all gonna die, you are all gonna die, die, diiiiiie!
And so on, with lots more verses of total gibberish.
In the absense of any access to a choir filled with children who already know IPA, I'll be providing all the vocals myself, and then pitch-shifting the hell out of them, for that super-annoying Alvin and the Chipmunks feel. Assuming I don't drive myself crazy with this project first -- and this is a very bold assumption -- it's going to be fun. And of course, it's going to drive a lot of people absolutely bugshit crazy when they're actually in game. ("It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small small world!")
You guys have heard of the video game Bully, haven't you? Sure you have. Even if the only thing you've heard about it is that a certain asshole in Florida has been trying to get it banned.
Well, according to Joystiq (which also provides links at Gamebrink and GayGamer) it not only has bullying, it has necking. And if you interact with the other characters in just the right way, if has teh hawt boy-on-boy necking! (The video below is from GayGamer. It has more dialog -- most of which is painfully cheesy -- and the guys are obviously into it, considering they try it again. And again. And again!)
Granted, compared to some of Rockstar's other exploits, this is nothing. Most sane people realize that a boy kissing another boy is pretty harmless compared to carjackings, assault with a rubber dildo, or beating a prostitude to death after fucking her. Hell, considering the tastes of quite a few of my friends, I'm inclined to dismiss the whole damned thing as "fan service."
Still, I hope Jack Thompson sees this. The thought of his head exploding is putting this obnoxious grin on my face.
(Yes, I know. Those of you who follow games regularly probably already know this. And likely you've known it for months.)
Over at Godawful, the lovely anti_nation has given me alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Good alcohol, not that I would know the difference. (I've had good whiskeys, and I've taken one of the two hot twin brothers named Glen out on a date once, but you must admit that these are drinks that you sip.) So, over at GAFF, I've been roleplaying a novice drinker who's suddenly gotten Absolut-ly smashed.
It's been fun. So far, I yacked all over a guy who has his head up his ass with respect to Middle East politics, I pissed all over a Post-Modernist pretentious twit, I shlurred my comments in several threads, and worst of all, I pointed at one faire_damsel and said, "I'd hit that!" (The lady in question is way too delusional for my tastes, but I imagine that if I were drunk, I'd be more forgiving of how "special" and "unique" she is. When I'm sober again, I hope I don't remember that.)
Most alarmingly, I've been wearing nothing but a lampshade on my head. I don't know why I bothered with the lampshade: it's convention, I suppose. But still, me... naked? It could be worse. If you're wearing sunglasses, I actually look good, though I could use some more upper body mass. Without the sunglasses, you'd probably be screaming, "turn it down!"
Anyway, I've now passed out, which leads me to the final stage of the drunken binge -- the beer-elfing! You know, kinda like graffiti, except with sharpies on naked drunk guy, instead of spraypaint on brick wall. So, I'm starting a meme: post a comment indicating what you'd do if you found me naked and passed out at a party!
(Keep in mind that we all know this isn't real life, so don't worry if you're not the sort to write obscenities on some poor defenseless passed-out naked guy. I'm not the sort to get passed-out drunk and naked at a party, either. As long as it's nothing too creepy, I'll take it in good humor.)
Since I've been sleeping poorly for the last few days (and oddly enough, meth has nothing to do with it), I've been hanging out online a bit too much, looking for bizarre shit...
Oh my gay thtarth!
Cho Aniki is, without doubt, the gayest video game on the fucking planet. And please note that I do not mean "gay" as in a word used by retarded high-school aged boys to mean "bad." I mean "gay" as in, well, gay. As in gay, adjective, "of, or pertaining to, men fucking each other in the ass."
Check this shit out!
From:Dennis Thompson(Esq) 23,Fabian Height Crescent, Pretoria,South Africa
Dear Mr/Mrs ██████████, I am Dennis Thompson a solicitor at law. I am the Personal Attorney to Mr. Charles ██████████,who has lived in Zimbabwe for the past fifty years, and whom here in after shall be referred to as my client.
In April 2002 , my client, was involved in crisis between the white farmers and the the government of Mr.Robert Mugabe . He lost his life during the crisis when the president wanted to disposses them of their farm lands.I am contacting you to assist in repatriating most especially,the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged.Particularly, the bank where the deceased had an account valued at about USD9,000,000 (Nine million United States Dollars) has issued me a notice to provide the Next of kin, or have the account confiscated since they aware of his death.
I seek your consent to present you as the Next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at 9 million dollars can be paid to you, as my clients Next of Kin, and then we can share the amount on a mutual agreed percentage.All legal documents toback up your claim as the deceased Next of Kin, will be provided.
All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me, to enable us discuss further about this transaction.
Best regards,
Dennis Thompson(Esq)
Isn't this just adorable? I just want to reach through the internet and squeeze this baby scammer's plump little cheeks! Maybe he'll grow up to be a real scam artist one day!
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devious