This is my front page. All comments here are screened; if you don't have my email address, you can drop me a line here. If I know your email address, I'll reply by email -- if not, I'll reply to your comment, and then rescreen both your comment and my reply.
It's also got every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my Treo. I chose this style because it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)
I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my journal -- are for.
Roman Polanski is clearly a great director. There. I've said it.
Having gotten that token acknowledgment of his artistic merit out of the way, let's get down to brass tacks. He plied a thirteen-year-old girl with drugs and alcohol, and raped her. He admitted it, in court. Well, he admitted the statutory rape in court, mostly to avoid all the more serious charges he was facing.
I realize that many news services are saying he "had sex with her." Bull, fucking, and shit. He was in his forties, she was thirteen. The term sex should not even be used in the same sentence as Polanski's name, with respect to this incident. The correct terms are "rape," "child molestation," and "pedophilia." Harsh terms? Hell yes. He could have avoided having these terms applied to him by, I don't know, perhaps not being a dirty old man who drugged and raped a child?
I also realize that his victim wants to put this all behind her, to the extent of not wanting him to be further prosecuted, and all of Polanski's apologists are saying things like "let's respect her wishes and not lock him up." Let's ignore, for the moment, the likelihood that they probably wouldn't be so eager to "respect her wishes" if she wanted to castrate the sick fucker with rusty garden shears -- this isn't just about her anymore. Child molestation is one of the most reviled crimes there is. We, as a society, are rightly sickened by it. By encoding our disgust for child molestation into criminal law, we've taken on the obligation of dealing with people who perpetrate it. We aren't magically let off the hook because it happened thirty years ago¹, or because he's such a gifted artist, or because the victim has moved on.
Further, perpetrators don't just stop. Certain criminals, like pedophiles and other rapists, tend to keep doing it until they're forcibly stopped.
I hope he gets his ass nailed to a wall. And sadly, it appears I'm in the minority -- a wide variety of film industry movers and shakers, actors, actresses, and even political figures are defending him. What the fuck is wrong with all you people?
(By the way, I doubt that I really have to say this, but just in case? Please don't defend him here. Judging from prior controversies in my LJ, I feel safe in saying that you'll get torn to pieces for it -- and not only will I do nothing to stop it, I'll probably join in. If you absolutely must defend that scumbag, do it in your own LJ.)
A lot of people unfamiliar with the details of this case or US legal procedure might wonder about things like a statute of limitations. That doesn't apply here. It could conceivably apply if he'd managed to evade arrest and criminal charges for thirty years -- or not; I don't know what statute of limitations exists, if any, for this particular crime. He didn't evade justice, though. He pleaded guilty, clearly hoping for a token punishment, and ran like hell when it became clear he could actually get prison time.
For those of you unfamiliar, Magic: the Gathering is a collectible trading card game. It's designed to give you some hope of winning if you bother to develop any skill in it, but really, most of the people who win with any consistency in it are the people who spend thousands of dollars on cards. Still, it can be amusing.
Someday, I hope that they come up with a penis enlargement pill that actually works.
No, not for my benefit, though at first glance I suppose I could see why one might think that. Like many men, possibly even most men, I do have a little tiny voice in the back of my brain that wishes my dick were bigger, and this voice is impervious to reason -- it keeps going, despite assurances by assorted close friends that I have more than enough already. (A guy claiming to have a big dick on the internet. I bet you've never seen that before!)
No, I want to see a genuine penis enlargement pill for grander, more world-changing reasons. I started hoping for this when crackpig suggested that if guys could just take a pill and get big dicks, they would probably drive much smaller cars. Then, the implications just spread out in front of me. Guys who feel the need to compensate for small genitalia do so in a variety of annoying and obnoxious ways, ranging from huge gas-guzzling cars, to car stereos so loud they make your teeth rattle two blocks away, to insanely fast driving. With just one pill, we could have peace and quiet, and cleaner air.
That's not all, though. You've heard of the massive skyscraper forest over in Dubai, right? Think of that in terms of a whole bunch of people with more money than God, and a good deal less sense, all goading each other into ever greater acts of architectural excess. "My steel-and-glass cock bigger than your steel-and-glass cock! (Or it will be when they finish it.)" If these guys actually had respectably-sized cocks of the flesh-and-blood variety, maybe they wouldn't be pouring billions of dollars into building these massive penis substitutes. (And at a guess, there'd be no Trump Towers, no Trump Jet, no Trump et ceteras...)
And lately, someone else proposed a new one: we'd have less fraud in the world! Plushie Schwartz -- blogger, fursuiter, and spectacular internet trainwreck -- shares with us his belief (NSFW!) that, had Bernie Madoff had a bigger dick, his life -- and the lives of all those he swindled -- might have turned out differently!
But was this gigantic financial assault committed by a man trying to compensate for other shortcomings? That’s what a new book titled Madoff’s Other Secret claims. The author, Madoff’s alleged longtime mistress Sheryl Weinstein, writes:
"Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst..."
(I know, I know, late to the party again. Extra hours at work, and all that. But I've been dying for a chance to use this video clip, and it may be a long time before I have another opportunity.)
I know I'm late to this party, but I'd like to say a few words about George Sodini. Well, actually, I'd like to say a lot of words about him, but I imagine that ten or so pages of "stupid fucking hateful fucking fucker who should have fucked himself fucking sideways with a giant fucking cactus fucking fucking fuck" would get really tedious to read in a hurry, so I'll try to keep that to a minimum.
I hate this stupid bastard so much I'm having to stare at my keyboard and struggle for words to describe it adequately. This scumbag is every loathsome aspect of all those "Nice Guys™" who think they're owed pussy by hot women (and only hot women) half their age, exaggerated to such a degree that if he hadn't just gunned down a bunch of women during their aerobics class, he'd actually be pretty damned funny, in a "hah hah, look at the clueless loser" sort of way. He's the perfect example of the creepy shitstain who couldn't get laid in a Nevada brothel even if he had a roll of hundred-dollar-bills wrapped around his dick. He's a small, pathetic, useless excuse for a human being, so much so that he decided that becoming a monster was a step up.
The more I read about him, and the more I read his diary, the more I hate him. I've been reading about how he was reading books by pick-up artist douchewhistles who clearly want to be Tom Leykis. How he felt personally affronted by the fact that there are 30 million desirable women, none of whom would have sex with him. (There are actually over 150 million females in this country, but I'm forced to assume he decided only 1 in 5 were worthy.) How he envied his neighbor for having an pretty young thing living with him, never mind the fact that said pretty young thing was his neighbor's daughter. How he hated black guys for getting all the white chicks and thereby making it even more impossible for him to get laid.
And most of all, I've been reading about all the sympathy he's been getting. I've been reading about how if he only knew the love of a good woman, or if he only learned some game, or if he could have gotten laid, all this could have been averted -- as if his involuntary celibacy is somehow an excuse for shooting up a bunch of strangers at a gym. I'm remembering that vile "suck a dick, save a life" meme that was making the rounds shortly after the Virginia Tech massacre, and wondering how long it will be until I see it again.
I hate this scumbag's attitude about there being a magic bullet for getting laid, whether it's a book like Date Young Women: For Men Over 35, or being black -- because all black men have big dicks, dontcha know? I have everything about him, and I hate all those faceless people on the internet who sympathize with him. He doesn't fucking deserve it. I'll save my sympathy for the real victims in this incident. You know, the ones who were minding their own business when some psychopath decided to start shooting at them.
You guys know about Mark Sanford, right? Disappeared for a few days, was thought to be hiking the Appalachian Trail for a while, turned out to be screwing around in Argentina?
Well, guess what? It's all Obama's fault. Really! Would Lush Rimjob lie about something like that?
Actually, we can do better. Rush says that Sanford is merely falling into despair because Obama is destroying the country, and after all it's completely natural to say "screw it." Michael Savage is even more literal. Apparently, Obama made it happen so that Sanford wouldn't be able to run against him in our next presidential election.
There's no funny I can make out of this. I sure as hell can't parody it.
Way back when, Geraldo Rivera got punched in the face, putting me in the very uncomfortable position of cheering for a white supremacist. Lately, something like this happened again: Perez Hilton got punched in the face, which put me in the uncomfortable position of cheering for the Black Eyed Peas. And then, Hilton twittered for the police, as opposed to... you know, calling them. Because he's such a big star, and the police keep up with all his tweets, dontcha know.
Apparently, calling someone a "fucking faggot" can get you punched in the face. Who'd've thought? You'd think Perez Hilton would know better, being gay... but apparently not.
(Link to UFB here. Unfunnybusiness is generally devoted to stuff that's well, extremely unfunny, but this is the funniest thing I've seen all week.)
Let me be clear about this: I am not angry at Tiller's family or colleagues over this. It's easy to say things like "we will not negotiate with terrorists," especially if you're not the one who has to deal with them. Tiller was far braver than any doctor should ever have to be, and his family have lost far more than they should have had to.
The fact is, Wichita (and a rather large area around it) is now without abortion services. What I am angry about is that this sends a message to the aforementioned terrorists: abortion will go away if you harrass and shoot enough people.
And yet, abortion is still necessary. As long as rape, incest, and child molestation exist, there will be a need. As long as contraceptives have a failure rate, there will be a need. As long as teenagers have limited access to contraceptives and limited education about sex, there will be a need. As long as pregnancy comes with risks of health complications, there will be a need. As long as women are capable of getting pregnant before they consider themselves ready to become mothers, there will be a need.
And yet, do you see any of the pro-liar activists addressing any of these issues? Of course not. Yelling at women about how they're going to burn in Hell is more fun. Sure, some of them claim to care for feti, and some of them even have instruction manuals on how it's necessary to do things like feign compassion for pregnant women to be taken seriously, but it's all an act.
There is no common ground on the abortion debate. Either you believe that a woman's body belongs to her, or you don't. Either you believe that a living woman is of greater value than a clump of cells, or you don't. The closest thing that exists to common ground is the hope that abortion might be less needed if we do... well, we can't even agree on that.
If these assholes really cared about reducing abortions, they'd be supporting sex education in schools, and they'd be delighted that people are actually using birth control. As it is, they're trying to keep kids ignorant, based on the assumption that if kids don't know anything about sex, and are told not to do it until they get married, they won't do it -- and anyone who's ever known teenagers should know this doesn't work. They're going into pharmacy with the intent of making it harder to get birth control pills. They're working as nurses at clinics and yanking out women's IUDs.
They're not interested in the welfare of women, and their interest in the welfare of feti doesn't extend much past the day they're born. What they want is to see women punished for having sex. Go to a clinic sometime, and just watch the protesters. You won't see much concern for life of any sort there, just contempt for those evil whores who got pregnant. Perhaps there's some subtlety or nuance to "you had a choice: don't screw" that I'm missing...
...and all ten of them are complete bullshit. They're a very nice try -- none of them use that "sanctity of marriage" crap, and a few of them try to co-opt the language of equality and nondiscrimination... but they're all still complete bullshit.
Reasons 1, 2, 3, and 8 are all conditions that exist within marriage as a whole, and are in no way unique to any marriage contract that a gay person might enter into. Reasons 1, 2, 3, 4, and 9 are all based on the assumption that a married couple is somehow obligated to have children, and that any married couple that doesn't have children is "cheating the system." Reasons 4, 5, and 6 might as well have been written by that stupid bint on The Simpsons who screeches "won't someone PLEASE think of the children," dressed up to look like actual arguments. Reasons 6 and 7 are based on the assumption that being gay is somehow intrinsically wrong. And reason 10 is a badly-applied slippery slope. (While I suspect we'll one day see group marriage, I'm pretty sure that coming up with a legally workable version of it is going to be a monster headache -- it'll be legally closer to a corporation than to what we currently think of as marriage. But I digress.)
Translation: "WAAAAAAAA! We liked being able to treat them faggots as subhuman, and we can't anymore! Can't you let us keep them from getting married? You've already taken from us the right to stone them or fire them for being queer, isn't that enough for you? Now you don't want to let us keep marriage for ourselves! That's all we have left! Can't you see that's ALL WE HAVE LEFT!"
(Yeah, I know. I've likened the anti-same-sex-marriage crowd to whining infants before. Tell you what. When they stop behaving like spoiled children who are crying because that kid they don't like wants to be able to go into the store and buy the same lollipops they have, I'll stop treating them accordingly.)
Recently, we lost one of three doctors in this country who perform late-term abortions¹. Well, no. We didn't "lose" him. That sounds like something trivial, like misplacing our fucking house keys. What really happened is some subhuman piece-of-shit fetus-hugger shot him down in cold blood in his own church.
A few pro-liar² activists are showing their true colors on this. Randall Terry is openly cheering Tiller's death³, and claims that Tiller reaped what he sowed. Jill Stanek is all but saying "one down, two to go." Most prominent pro-liars at least have to good sense to make half-hearted speeches about how appalled they are, leaving the "he had it coming" message in the undertones.
I have fucking had it with the pro-liar movement. I hope Scott Roeder fries. I hope he gets branded as a terrorist. And I hope that Operation Rescue is tied to it. Shouldn't be hard -- the internet preserves everything.
I wish I could say more, but I am too angry to think coherently. No doubt it's affected the quality of my writing, but I'm posting it anyway. It needs to be fucking said, even if countless people have already voiced it better than I have.
I'm guessing that most of the people reading my LJ already know this, but I'm going to say it anyway: late-term abortions are never done lightly. The pro-liar image of that stupid whore who casually aborts at eight months so that she can fit into her prom dress is a complete fabrication. Late-term abortions are performed either because the fetus is non-viable, or because it endangers the mother. Period. If you believe anything different... I am sorry. You've been lied to. Hardly surprising, though: the anti-abortion activists are interested in stopping abortion, and they are not above telling a shitload of lies in service to their cause.
Yes, I'm using the term "pro-liar." When the other side learns what the "pro-life" label actually means, I'll consider letting them have it back.
I know, I know. I cheered when Jerry Falwell died, and I cheered when Jesse Helms died. Shame on me. Ya know what? As much as I cheered when they died, none of my actions actually contributed to either of their deaths. And as much as I hate Pat Robertson and plan to cheer when he dies, none of my actions will contribute to his death, either. My side doesn't do that. My side is too busy pretending that the other side will view us as human beings if we try to engage them civilly.
I've been reading too much news that's been making me stabby lately, so I was very much amused to find this (NSFW!). And this (NSFW!).
Short version: Dirty pictures are a dime a dozen... unless they've been on the moon. Then, they're about $200K.
Of course, some people will wring their hands and clutch their pearls about moral turpitude on the part of the astronauts, and on Gizmodo, at least one idiot is bitching about how this reflects poorly on how taxpayer money is spent... but me, I'm just amused. Nope -- I'm not surprised in the least. Astronauts are human, and compared to just about every animal but dolphins and bonobos, humans are really preoccupied with sex. I'll wait until someone does a porn shoot in zero gravity before being surprised.
Ah, who am I kidding? I won't be surprised even then.
This article is very much worth a read. A few facts from it...
This strain of the flu has killed 19 people worldwide. Malaria kills a couple million every year, though I suspect that since most of the dead are poor people on the other side of the world, our media doesn't care as much about it. Meanwhile, here at home (in my case, the US), tens of thousands die from less exotic flu viri every year, and yet we consider swine flu to be a higher priority.
Egypt wants to destroy every pig within its borders, despite a complete lack of swine flu cases. This action becomes a little easier to explain when you realize that Egpyt is a Muslim country, and the only people who will suffer losses over this new policy are Christians. (Dear Maggie Gallagher: this is what oppression of Christians looks like. Being loudly accused of lying and bigotry when you persist in being a lying bigot does not even begin to qualify.)
Mexicans are being treated like shit in China, as a "safety precaution." As with Egypt's orders to destroy all pigs within its borders, prejudice seems to be the real culprit.
I could go on, but even if I fully summarized the article, I couldn't really do it justice. Go read it.
Seriously, weren't you the one talking about how your state ought to secede? Wasn't it you bitching about how all the Federal Government does is bleed us all dry? And yet, the moment some crisis comes along, there you are with your hand out. And not just for swine flu, either.
I'd be amused by your hypocrisy, if it weren't for the fact that you're actually in a position of power, and a couple of my friends live in Texas and have to put up with your sorry ass.
Discovered on Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Apparently, there is an entire network on cable TV aimed right at the GLBT demographic. I only ever watch TV at work (or when visiting friends), and I'm only barely on the outermost edge of that demographic, so I doubt I'll ever see this network myself. Still, I'm glad it exists. Some of its programming scares the crap out of me, but I'm glad it exists.
Discovered on Jezebel: Two people started an advice column, but with a twist -- both of them are stoned out of their gourds. It's probably not any less useless than any other popular advice column, and it's a hell of a lot funnier.
Discovered on Fleshbot (NSFW): As happy as I am that there are people who think that red-haired men are teh hawt, I think this site (NSFW) is kinda creepy. It's flattering as hell (we're all insatiable well-hung sex gods, dontcha know), sorta, but the obsessive fetishizing tone makes me want to send them pictures of really ugly redheads and really poorly-hung redheads out of spite. (Okay, I'm being unfair. I don't necessarily know that The Donald has a really small one, but come on, if you're naming airplanes and giant skyscrapers after yourself, that's probably the way to bet.)
Discovered on Questionable Content: Being male, I doubt I'd be all that welcome at shops like this one, but I really hope they exist in real life. (The closest thing I've seen is Good Vibes.) I also hope that someone makes a Daft Punk Disco Dong soon, if for no other reason than "Daft Punk Disco Dong" is really fun to say.
Discovered on YouTube:This video is possibly the dorkiest thing I've seen this year. So why did I just watch it ten times in a row and laugh myself hoarse? "Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it..."
Discovered all over the fuckin' place: A lot of gay-themed books have disappeared off Amazon's ranks and searches. Searching "homosexuality" on Amazon gets you lots of books about how you're a dirty sinful person who can change if you try hard enough, or how you must keep your child on the straight and narrow, lest TEH FAWRCES OV TEH EBIL EBIL GHEY place your child on the road straight to Hell. But all this is a glitch. Really. Really! (I'd love to comment on this, but I'm very much late to the party, so everything I'd care to say has already been said.)
You know what's more horrifying, and more shocking, than a home invasion in a small town, in which a teenage girl and three friends kill her mother and siblings and almost kill her father?
The thought that in said small town, teenagers apparently think that being bisexual is okay, possibly even cool!
No, really! Go ask Rod Dreher! Surely, we can trust his moral compass and sense of propriety!
(He at least has the good sense to claim that he's being horribly understood. It's a hopeless maneuver, since what he says and how he says it are pretty clear, but technically, he still had to try, right?)
(The first piece of news has since appeared on cf_hardcore. I'm tempted to post the second, but coming from me, that would probably count as shit-stirring.)
I haven't been this delighted by quotes taken out of context since Bill O'Reilly said "I want to go to a gay bathhouse!" (Sadly, I've never heard this one for myself. Too bad, that -- I know a couple of DJs who'd have a lot of fun with it.)
A feisty raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified -- but toothy -- fur ball.
"When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
"He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.
"That's gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."
Racoons are already well-known for being cute little bandits, but that's clearly not enough for them, now that one of them has heard The Hedgehog Song. "Hey, you know that hedgehog in the song? It should totally be US! We raccoons should have songs about how we can't be buggered at all, and I know just how to make that happen!"
And his little raccoon friends will look at him funny. "Dude, someone actually tried to bugger a hedgehog once. It went very badly."
"Yeah. And one day, someone will try to bugger one of us! I mean, look at us, we're fuckin' adorable! And you know humans, they'll fuck anything! I've seen them on the internet! We just have to be ready!"
"But hedgehogs have spines! We can't compete with that!"
"Sure we can! We just have to be meaner! One of these days, some human is going to want my cute little fluffy ass, and after I tear him to pieces, I'll be famous!"
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