This is my front page. All comments here are screened; if you don't have my email address, you can drop me a line here. If I know your email address, I'll reply by email -- if not, I'll reply to your comment, and then rescreen both your comment and my reply.
It's also got every tag I have -- this is because my current LJ style doesn't include a tag index. (At least half of my participation on LJ is on my Treo. I chose this style because it loads quickly and it's still readable on a small screen.)
I'd tell you more about myself, but that's what my profile -- and the rest of my journal -- are for.
...and all ten of them are complete bullshit. They're a very nice try -- none of them use that "sanctity of marriage" crap, and a few of them try to co-opt the language of equality and nondiscrimination... but they're all still complete bullshit.
Reasons 1, 2, 3, and 8 are all conditions that exist within marriage as a whole, and are in no way unique to any marriage contract that a gay person might enter into. Reasons 1, 2, 3, 4, and 9 are all based on the assumption that a married couple is somehow obligated to have children, and that any married couple that doesn't have children is "cheating the system." Reasons 4, 5, and 6 might as well have been written by that stupid bint on The Simpsons who screeches "won't someone PLEASE think of the children," dressed up to look like actual arguments. Reasons 6 and 7 are based on the assumption that being gay is somehow intrinsically wrong. And reason 10 is a badly-applied slippery slope. (While I suspect we'll one day see group marriage, I'm pretty sure that coming up with a legally workable version of it is going to be a monster headache -- it'll be legally closer to a corporation than to what we currently think of as marriage. But I digress.)
Translation: "WAAAAAAAA! We liked being able to treat them faggots as subhuman, and we can't anymore! Can't you let us keep them from getting married? You've already taken from us the right to stone them or fire them for being queer, isn't that enough for you? Now you don't want to let us keep marriage for ourselves! That's all we have left! Can't you see that's ALL WE HAVE LEFT!"
(Yeah, I know. I've likened the anti-same-sex-marriage crowd to whining infants before. Tell you what. When they stop behaving like spoiled children who are crying because that kid they don't like wants to be able to go into the store and buy the same lollipops they have, I'll stop treating them accordingly.)
This song has been stuck in my head all day. It's likely to be blatantly offensive to people who have sticks up their asses, and the delivery, while vulgar, is just too damned cute for words. This combination is almost guaranteed to result in something that will bash its way into your head and never come out. This particular performance is made even more fun by lots of young gay vloggers hamming it up.
Oh, and check this out! The singer of this wonderful wonderful song, one Lily Allen, shows a nipple on The Friday Night Project! (Sorry, embedding is disabled.) Have I mentioned how much I love The Friday Night Project? Oh, wait, yes, I have. Well, lemme say it again!
People are getting pissed off at LJ again. Something about anti-queer organizations getting advertising space on LJ. Because I'm sure that someone on LJ's staff is vetting each and every advertisement that shows up on their site. After all, companies like LJ never arrange for other companies to fill in their ads automatically!
Not that I support NOM or anything. Believe me, I don't. I think they're brain-dead bigot assholes who aren't yet over the fact that laws against murder and workplace discrimination protect those ebil homosexuals, and now they're pissed because the uproar over marriage threatens to bring us all one step closer to treating homosexuals like real human beings. Their very fucking existence offends me in ways I lack words to describe.
But! I'm not convinced that the powers that be at LJ are to blame for this, or are even aware of it, so I refuse to fly off the handle just yet. And personally, I like this person's take on it.
Discovered on Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Apparently, there is an entire network on cable TV aimed right at the GLBT demographic. I only ever watch TV at work (or when visiting friends), and I'm only barely on the outermost edge of that demographic, so I doubt I'll ever see this network myself. Still, I'm glad it exists. Some of its programming scares the crap out of me, but I'm glad it exists.
Discovered on Jezebel: Two people started an advice column, but with a twist -- both of them are stoned out of their gourds. It's probably not any less useless than any other popular advice column, and it's a hell of a lot funnier.
Discovered on Fleshbot (NSFW): As happy as I am that there are people who think that red-haired men are teh hawt, I think this site (NSFW) is kinda creepy. It's flattering as hell (we're all insatiable well-hung sex gods, dontcha know), sorta, but the obsessive fetishizing tone makes me want to send them pictures of really ugly redheads and really poorly-hung redheads out of spite. (Okay, I'm being unfair. I don't necessarily know that The Donald has a really small one, but come on, if you're naming airplanes and giant skyscrapers after yourself, that's probably the way to bet.)
Discovered on Questionable Content: Being male, I doubt I'd be all that welcome at shops like this one, but I really hope they exist in real life. (The closest thing I've seen is Good Vibes.) I also hope that someone makes a Daft Punk Disco Dong soon, if for no other reason than "Daft Punk Disco Dong" is really fun to say.
Discovered on YouTube:This video is possibly the dorkiest thing I've seen this year. So why did I just watch it ten times in a row and laugh myself hoarse? "Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it..."
Discovered all over the fuckin' place: A lot of gay-themed books have disappeared off Amazon's ranks and searches. Searching "homosexuality" on Amazon gets you lots of books about how you're a dirty sinful person who can change if you try hard enough, or how you must keep your child on the straight and narrow, lest TEH FAWRCES OV TEH EBIL EBIL GHEY place your child on the road straight to Hell. But all this is a glitch. Really. Really! (I'd love to comment on this, but I'm very much late to the party, so everything I'd care to say has already been said.)
For those of you unfamiliar, Supernatural is a TV series about Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers who deal with all kinds of supernatural stuff, like demons and crap. Since the actors who play Sam and Dean are conventionally attractive, they attract a following of fanfic writers, some of whom write stories about the two screwing a lot. In fact, in SPN fandom, it's common enough that they've had to come up with a name for it: wincest.
Well, if you've ever wondered what the writers of SPN think of wincest, just watch this. I'll be way over here, keeping an eye out for the fireworks.
I'm sure there's a reference in one of the books that I'm missing, but where I come from, "pillow biters" means something entirely different. (And is probably considered fighting words.)
You know what's more horrifying, and more shocking, than a home invasion in a small town, in which a teenage girl and three friends kill her mother and siblings and almost kill her father?
The thought that in said small town, teenagers apparently think that being bisexual is okay, possibly even cool!
No, really! Go ask Rod Dreher! Surely, we can trust his moral compass and sense of propriety!
(He at least has the good sense to claim that he's being horribly understood. It's a hopeless maneuver, since what he says and how he says it are pretty clear, but technically, he still had to try, right?)
You should definitely not put this music on while watching this video. (Just in case you're thinking of clicking that at work, the second link is a guy dancing, wearing naught but a butt-plug... well, there's also a dildo, but it's not in the usual place. Oh, and there's a dancing chicken in the advertisement right below him, or at least there was when I first clucked. Er, clicked. "Please don't choke your (dancing) chicken.")
And as long as I'm linking to videos that might give you (and that poor prarie dog) nightmares, here's the first appearance of the queen in the pickle suit: Pickle Surprise! The same guy also did something much shorter (but no less strange) called Strawberry Shortcut, which I couldn't find when I posted Ookie Cookie, or else I'd have included it in that post.
And finally, it's bored dudes on the net doing pickle surprise!
Wed, Dec. 3rd, 2008, 01:38 pm They'll make musicals out of anything, part whatever.
As amusing as these things are, I'm certain that each cheesy musical skit that gets produced will bring us one day closer to the Broadway debut of "Columbine! The Musical." Or worse, "911! The Musical!" This one includes Jack Black (who is usually hit or miss, but does okay in this one), and Neil Patrick Harris, who is pretty funny.
Yet another thing stolen from the fucked up blog of Plushie Schwartz (NSFW). I can only guess that lots and lots of LSD went into making this video, and that the blotter paper had neon pink and purple triangles printed on it. Why am I posting it, then? Because I shouldn't have to suffer alone.
This one's called "Pickle Surprise." Do yourself a favor, and don't watch it.
Oh, and this one's called "Ookie Cookie." Don't watch this one either -- it's a parody of Pickle Surprise. Or homage. I'm not sure which, to be honest. And whatever you do, don't look up "Ookie Cookie" on Urban Dictionary or anything crazy like that.
Stolen from tripathy: Trans-Siberian Orchestra, longtime purveyors of Christmas music that doesn't suck, are apparently putting out a new album. Granted, they've been saying that for a few years now, so you'll hopefully forgive me if I say that I'll believe it when I see it in the store, and not one moment sooner. Anyway, a cut off that album, which borrows very heavily from both Dies Irae (from the Verdi Requiem) and The Flower Duet (from Lakme).
Stolen from Fleshbot: This frightening homonculus painted to look like Alvin, sans Simon or Theodore, is Reese Rideout, a gay porn star who wins the prize for "silliest stage name in porn." I'm guessing that under other circumstances, he'd probably be an attractive individual, but at the moment, all I can think about is how he and this stupid song are going to haunt my nightmares. Anyway, shared pain is lessened, and I'm a sadistic bastard, so here ya go.
When I first read that 8 passed, I wanted to go vandalize the nearest church. A few hours later, I wanted to take a couple of male exhibitionists with me, break into a church, and film them having teh hawt ghey buttsexxors, with just enough wide panshots to make it perfectly clear exactly where all tihs hawt ghey buttsexxors was happening.
I've calmed down a little, since, but this still appeals to me a lot. It includes a link to my new friend, IRS Form 13909 -- in fact, it includes instructions on how to fill it out.
LDS has taken a giant shit on my state and its Constitution. I don't care if it will never affect me personally, and I don't care if the ACLU is successful in getting it annulled -- I want payback. I want these people to be so terrified of IRS auditors that it makes their current fear of the Gay Agenda look like nothing more than a passing mild distaste.
And more importantly, I want other churches that might consider pulling this kind of stunt to be sent a clear message: don't try it. You want a voice in government? Fine. You can pay for it like the rest of us.
We were supposed to be the cool state. You know, the one full of Liberals, the open-minded ones, the ones who felt all smug and superior to those "other states" full of people who still think that "nigger" is an appropriate form of address for a black person. "Oh, we're better than that," we'd say, as we pat ourselves on the back.
I'd better not hear any of that shit today, because while some of us do apparently get it, we're outnumbered by the same kind of bigot we make fun of other states for including -- and those bigots live in our state, too. Today, we are one of those "other states."
If you voted yes on 8, it's possible that you were horribly misled -- a lot of churches were lying their asses off about its content, and the intent of the people opposing it. (Isn't there something in the Bible about that, like, Exodus 20:16? I'm pretty sure that this counts as "bearing false witness.") More likely, you're a backward fucking bigot, and you're also a fucking crybaby who screams "oppression!" every time a gay person has the temerity to remind you that they actually do exist. You remind me of a spoiled child with a whole bunch of lollipops, who's just been told that he has to share a couple of them with "those other kids," and responded by throwing a fit -- and I want to take you over my knee with a belt and then throw all your lollipops down a sewer grate. You want something to cry about? There you go!
Yes, I'm taking this personally. Sure, I'm mostly straight, and I'm not the type to settle down and get married at all, let alone to a man, but I'm still just gay enough that I count as one of those people you view as less-than-human. Let me assure you, right now the feeling is fucking mutual.
I can hope that the California Supreme Court shoots 8 down. Hell, I can hope that the US Supreme Court will one day shoot it down. Still, the fact remains that we should have done the right thing on our own, and not enough of us did... and of course, you stupid bigot assholes in this state will no doubt go into your usual chant of "activist judges, activist judges," with a side order of "help, help, I'm being oppressed!" Never mind that you seem to have no problem with activist judges when they're just as ignorant and backward as you. Fucking hypocrites.
For those of you who recognized proposition 8 for what it was, and voted against it... let's not give up on fighting it. We lost this battle, but the war must continue. This bit of hatred that just got scotch-taped to our Constitution is a stain on our honor -- on all of our honor -- for as long as it remains there.
Well, not all of fandom. Most of fandom is just like you and me, with no major crippling social defects. Then, there are the ones with no social skills and no concept of personal hygiene. Then, there are the real crazies. But let's face it, even the more sane elements of fandom include elements that the people with the fans aren't really meant to know.¹ And of course, the fans insist on showing them, because the looks on their faces are always worth it.
In this video, Christopher Judge (Teal'c, Stargate SG-1) is on the panel at DragonCon. Someone brings up furries, and someone else brings up slash. Now, Judge seems to know what slash it, but he's completely naive about furries. Or, well, he was.
In this video, Orlando Bloom learns on the Graham Norton show that there are over a million sites devoted to him. If that wasn't scary enough, he also learns that a lot of his fans have really overactive imaginations and pick fights with each other on message boards.
In this video, David Ten-inch² Tennant (The Doctor, Doctor Who) is on the Friday Night Project. The two hosts inform him that there are, indeed, Doctor Who porn sites. They even read bits to him. One scene with him and Martha Jones, another scene with him and Captain Jack.
Well, sometimes they're not meant to know. I'm told that two oft-slashed members of DS9 have been known to get drunk together, read slash out loud, and laugh their asses off.
Billie Piper apparently gave David this nickname. I can't imagine why.
Sometime between now and the election, I may break down and make a serious post. I'll explain, in the best terms I can, why I feel gay folk should be allowed to marry, why teenagers should be able to get an abortion without having to notify their parents, why the McCain/Palin ticket scares the crap out of me, and many other things. Some day soon, I may give these real and serious issues the serious discussion they deserve.
Today is not that day. Tomorrow's not looking so good, either.
For those of you unfamiliar, Proposition 8 in California is an attempt at a constitutional amendment defining marriage as existing only between a man and a woman. In other words, "Waaaaa! We used to be able to kill those queers by stoning them, and we can't any more! Waaaa! And now we can't sack them from their jobs just for being queer any more, either! Waaaaa! More and more, we have to treat those queers as if they're actual human beings! Waaaaa! Can't you let us keep them from marrying, that's all we've got left! Can't you see, that's all we've got left! WAAAAAAAAAA!"
Somebody call a fucking waaaaa-mbulance. Anyway, I'm starting to see pro-prop-eight ads at work on TV. Fortunately, I'm seeing anti-prop-eight ads, too, though nothing quite as entertaining as this one:
Of course, I'm a guy on the internet, and as you folks all know, all guys have big dicks on the internet, so I'm not worried about being embarrassed in this fashion. But that's really not the point.
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